Informercials send me into a hypnotic state

Anytime an informercial comes on, I find it impossible to look away or move. Even if I've already seen it. They have the answers to all my questions. Why don't I cook? Because I don't have a slicer, juicer, rotisserie, all in one pan, vacuum sealer, the right knife. Why am I overweight? I don't eat right, excercise, or have to much cortisol. Why isn't my house clean? I don't have the right vacuum, or squeezed the air out of my junk, or have an automatic litter box. Why am I tired? I don't have the right bed, pillow, B-vitamins, juicer, excercise, or wrist thingy to make my ions equal. Why do I have acne? I don't use finely milled oxidants by so and so specialists. Why am I broke? I'm not in AMC, I don't buy houses with no money down, I don't put tiny ads in newspapers telling people to send me money, I don't sell things on Ebay.

Anyway Luckily I have not bought most of these things over the years. I regret to say I have purchased a few less than easy to use products over the years. I have yet to make salsa or ice cream. I don't have tight abs and thighs. I still have acne (actually the acne one sort of worked). And lets just say my adjustable air bed leaks more often than I like. I can't do math in my head and I'm not a speed reader. The liter maid worked but its no fun cleaning poop off the comb, so I'd rather scoop. My sleeping bag does not stay compressed. Actually looking at this list, I'm highly embarrassed.

The latest one I'm having trouble resisting is the sub-lingual vitamin B ad. They are on all the time. I want to be smarter and have more energy. Here's a question for you: Can losing ten pounds in six days be healthy? Slim in 6's doctor says yes, I say NO. What do you think?

I'll buy a product that keeps me from wasting time watching these programs. Luckily I am immune to the Home shopping network, QVC.